Reading time: 5min
Topics: MBTI, personality psychology, typology, Jungian cognitive functions
Not sure what MBTI is about? Try these resources to find out more.
Let me just start by saying that the MBTI community online is terribly, terribly biased in the favour of Intuitives – people who prefer taking in the world through ideas and possibilities, instead of the concrete and the factual. Sensors, which make up half of the 16 personality types, tend to be left out from discussions, memes, and analyses: and if they are lucky enough to even be mentioned, it is most likely in negative, generalising or mocking light.
I am not here to dig deep into the discussion on what causes this Sensor-discrimination (it is rather simple actually: only Intuitives seem to be interested in personality psychology). I am here to acknowledge that the Intuitive’s “superiority complex” makes us blind to the wonders of our Sensor fellows.
So let’s face the facts: most of the people we know in real life are Sensors! Some sources claim our Sensor fellows make up to 66-76% of the population!
So, to show some appreciation towards the majority (in the internet’s case, minority), I will share my favourite things about the Sensor type I consider extremely loveable, invaluable and underappreciated: ESFJ.
ESFJ – The Humane Human
Often claimed to be the second most common personality type, healthy ESFJs are notoriously high-functioning, non-problematic and kind-hearted people. They navigate the world through their dominant function, Extraverted Feeling, meaning that they hold their loved one’s needs and wishes above everything else. They are the people to go out of their way to make sure you have eaten, slept enough, and are wearing the appropriate clothing for the weather. Because of their caring, responsible and mature approach to life and relationships, they are often crowned as the “mother type” of the MBTI.
The ESFJ’s positive traits make them also prone to less desirable tendencies, such as excessive materialism, over-concern over their social status and neediness. But today, I will share 7 things that I, as an INFP, absolutely adore about the ESFJ in my life.
- Their genuine, altruistic heart
With relationships or social functions, there is truly no detail that goes unnoticed by the ESFJ. They will make sure they talk to everybody at the party, and that nobody feels left out. They will remember to ask about your parents and your aunties and your goldfish, and they will send you a heartfelt thank-you message after the party. They will keep the conversation light-hearted, and they would never start arguing over petty topics – especially if they have a reason to think such a conversation might upset somebody in the room. They get on well with everybody and are masters of small-talk and making new acquaintances whether they go to the gym, bank, or the grocery store.
Even when the ESFJ is alone, they seem to spend the majority of their time thinking of ways to make the people in their lives happier. The ESFJ believes in humanity and looks at love as the strongest force in the universe – and they embody these beliefs in their lifestyle and behaviour.
. - Their silly humour
ESFJ’s sense of humour appears to be… childish. In a good way. They are not big fans of witty comments or sarcasm, but they are not afraid of making a fool of themselves with their silly impersonations or absurd jokes. And you will laugh too, both at them and with them. ESFJs have a potent ability to make fun of themselves, and to lighten up the mood.
. - How easy (and satisfying!) it is to boost their confidence
ESFJs love compliments, to the extent that you can use this as a trick to send them to the seventh heaven in a few sentences. There is something so pure and humane about the way you can see their entire being light up once you stop to praise their thoughtfulness, perseverance or endless positivity.
They truly know how to take a compliment, and they will be so thankful for you to remind them of their brilliance!
. - Their listening abilities
No one will devote their time and energy to your worries as much as an ESFJ will. If you ask them to lend an ear, they will literally stop whatever they are doing to make sure you feel supported. And while listening, the ESFJ will truly try to grasp your point and understand your emotions.
ESFJ is also likely to feel the need to fix things for you and is keen to suggest solutions. Sometimes, such suggestions might be unrequited (although never ill-intended) but at their best, they lead us to our next point…
. - …their problem-solving abilities.
If you want to hear a reasonable, grounded and just simply useful solution to your problem, consult an ESFJ. Although they don’t master in logic, they ground their reasoning in a healthy, down-to-earth rationality. They consider emotions as key ingredients in any decision, but at the same time, they take even the most emotionally charged conversations with a hint of realism and common sense.
ESFJ is also an expert in de-escalating intense situations. With tact and gentle care, they will ensure that nobody lets the sun go down on their anger.
. - How they appreciate your Intuitive viewpoint as a source of wisdom
This applies, naturally, to relationships between ESFJs and Intuitive types. Although the Sensor-Intuitive difference can cause clashes and misunderstandings, the ESFJ will appreciate the unique insight you bring to their life. They are very likely to confide in you and ask for your advice, and they might also show intense adoration for your creativity and unique way of thinking. ESFJ can be very proud of your companionship, value it on a deep level, and proudly brag about your wondrous ideas to all their friends.
Despite popular beliefs, the ESFJ is not even half as prejudiced against Intuiting as Intuitives are against Sensing!
. - Their Humanity
This is the ultimate reason I think ESFJs are amazing. They are so human. They are emotional people who need to have their feelings and experiences validated by others, they can be even hysterically irrational at times, yet they are easy to communicate with. Their problems are relatable. They experience the full, healthy width of human emotion – their inner experience appears relatively untangled and bound to coherent, humane concepts. They share a sense of humanity and feel at ease being with other humans. I think it is a blessing that our society has a lot of ESFJs.
Thank you for reading! Let me know in the comments about your experiences with ESFJs – let’s share the love! Also, if you’d like me to write more articles like this, give me a shout! 🙂
chaos and chase 